New acronyms for new situations always needed

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, April 27, 2005

They have been around for a long time and are used all the time.

Some are as common as a favorite sandwich (BLT); some were not well thought through. (For example: Nixon’s Committee to Re-Elect the President was CREEP.)

But they have become part of our vernacular and it’s hard to imagine communicating without them.

So, go ahead, take the following test.

Circle the ones that you know what they stand for.

See if you are acronymically challenged or not.

First, test yourself on some of the more common governmental ones:

CIA, FBI, DOD, FCC, DEA, FAA, FDA, FEMA, EPA, FTC, HUD, OSHA, NASA, HHS, SSA, NAFTA, SBA, USDA, NTSB, and the ever-lovable IRS.

Now, test yourself on some military ones:

AWOL, GI, CO, NCO, ROTC, USAF, USMC, MAD, SAM, ICBM, SLBM, MIRV, MIA, KIA, POW, MRE, JAG, WMD, UAV, IED, and the all too often usable one, SNAFU.

Go now to sports: NFL, MLB, NBA, NASCAR, IOC, NCAA, PGA, LPGA, RBI, DH, IP, ERA, QB, RB, WR, FB, OL, DL, FG, PAT, and the ever evasive one to the Alabama offense, TD.

Try your skill on some financial-institution ones:

FDIC, PE, ROE, ROI, PL, CD, NYSE, NASDAQ, OTC, IMF, GNP; GDP, IPO, IRA, SEP, COLA, and the ever popular IOU.

Move on to some business ones:

CEO, CFO, CIO, COO, GM, DBA, LLC, LLP, PO, MSRP, COGS, and QA.

Some businesses are so named:

IBM, 3M, AAA, AOL, GNC, UPS, GE, GM, BMW, MCI, AT&T, SCB and the finger licking KFC.

Finally, test your ability on the plethora of everyday miscellaneous ones: JFK, FDR, MLK, AA, DWI, DUI,

DOA, ASAP, BC, AD, BCE, IQ, MC, TBA, RSVP, FYI, MYOB, SOS, PC, MO, SUV, MPG, UFO, WASP, TGIF, and the one known by all, except for most Baptists, BYOB.

Well-how did you do?

If you got one-fourth or less then you need to turn off I Love Lucy reruns and find out what is going on in this world.

If you were closer to fifty percent, then you are functional.

If you got eighty percent or above, well-you need to loosen up.

Start watching some I Love Lucy reruns.

Readers, most of the above acronyms have been around for a while and we have gotten used to them and are comfortable in using them.

However, with the explosion of technological

devices and text messaging, I am afraid that we are going to be inundated with new acronyms at such a rate that most of us will find it hard to keep up.

With MP3’s, iPods, PDA’s and a long list of other new things hitting the store shelves, seemingly every other week, it will just be too overwhelming.

Keep in mind now, I am just referring to new acronyms.

We haven’t even considered the topic regarding the list of “new” words that are added by Webster each year. (That’s another column for another day).

Have you used tarball, honeypot, smurfs, blob, or blogger correctly in a sentence this week?

Don’t feel like a dunce, I haven’t either.

Because of all this, it seems that “continuing education” will be more important today than ever before for those in the business world.

Fortunately, with Dr. Arthur Ogden heading up the new Demopolis Higher Education Center here in Demopolis and with “distance education” opportunities, we are no longer at a disadvantage.

In closing, I would like to suggest two or three new acronyms for the public to consider.

I feel that there is a need for them.

My first suggestion: BHD:

This stands for “Bad Hair Day.”

Men, if your spouse is acting totally illogical and has that look in her eye that says “do not get within a hundred feet of me,” then BHD is applicable.

My second suggestion is YDYR.

Men, you will be wise to use this if your spouse is having a BHD.

It stands for “Yes, Dear, Your Right.”

And lastly, I suggest SCREWU:

This is what one would be allowed to write on one’s IRS form if, after spending numerous hours of trying to figure out the IRS code, you still aren’t sure what it means.

It stands for “Situation Confusing/Regulations Extremely Wacko&Unintelligible.”

So, for now…..XO’s…..