What some call cheap others call priceless

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Well, the pressure is on me.

We have passed the mid-point of the summer and my wife is still asking me if we are going to take a vacation this summer.

I keep stalling but I am about out of excuses.

(I would just hate to have to come out and say the obvious “Rosemary, I am too cheap to take you on a nice vacation this summer.”)

So…..what are my options?

Is there a “CheapThrills.com out in cyber-space that I can access on line and find inexpensive places to go and things to do with my wife?

I don’t dare type in “cheap thrills” on Google….I shudder to think what their search engine will pop up.

So, here I sit, trying my best to come up with my own list of places to go and things to do that will not result in me having to mortgage one of my kidneys.

After much thought, here are a few that I have come up with.

Those of you that are married, do you think that your spouse would sign off on any of the following as adequate substitutes for an expensive vacation?

1. Go on a late afternoon walk, possibly hand-in-hand, along the “walking trails” of Foscue Park.

You get to enjoy both a wooded walk and a few sights of the river.

With a little luck, there will be the slightest suggestion of a pleasant breeze coming off of the water.

Estimated cost if you already own walking shoes….$0.

2. Put a boat in at the city landing and go with another couple on a boat trip on the river to eat at Ezell’s or to Buck’s.

If one already has a boat….estimated cost: $60 to $75.

3. Go to the Demopolis Public Library and look at National Geographics together.

You get to see the sights of the Congo, of Rio de Janeiro, and of Tibet, and not have to experience jet lag or lost luggage.

Follow this by walking the short distance from the library to the Marengo Theater and take in an adventure movie.

Tickets, large popcorn, large Pepsi, and large Skittles….estimated cost: $25.

4. Invite friends over to your house for a hamburger cook-out and sit around and play Pictionary, with the TV turned on to the Travel Channel.

This allows you to be with people that you enjoy, playing a game that is fun and challenging, and visit exotic sites,

all while remaining in an air conditioned controlled environment.

Providing that you already own a TV, the Pictionary game, and none of your friends eat like Sumo wrestlers….estimated cost $25.

Now, if my math is correct, all four of the above can be done for under $150.

Total!

Readers, I am telling you, what a great deal.

It would not be that uncommon to spend that much on just valet parking and doorman tips at some places.

Now, I already know that some of you are shaking your head and are heading out the door to go purchase a sympathy card for my wife, with the intentions of writing some bemoaning note to her about what you see as Jack Benny-ish tendencies of mine.

Fair enough.

However, remember-what some may call “cheap” I would prefer to use a more positive term and goldenly emboss the word “priceless” over the above events.

(Do you think my wife will buy it?

Wish me luck!)