Valentines Day is a bittersweet holiday

Published 12:00 am Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Great. Just great. Today is Valentine’s Day and I am bitter.

I’m thinking I may just sit in my house, after I get off work of course, cuddle up with my snake – who still doesn’t have a name – eat a bunch of sugar and watch a movie.

But not any of those sappy “I love you” “I love you more” movies. I think I’ll watch something having to do with bad relationships or maybe something with lots of guns and bombs.

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I know that’ll be kind of hard to find, since every movie has some underlying theme of love. It makes me just plain sick.

Even in war movies, someone is writing home to tell his wife how much he loves her. In gang films there’s always that faithful concubine that dies and causes the main mobster to go stone crazy. Bleh! It’s making me sick just thinking about it.

After all, what is love anyway?

How do you know is you’ve found it?

Is it just a state of mind?

And if it is real, how do you keep it?

Not that I want to be in love or anything, I was just wondering.

O.K. Fine. I admit. Sometimes, only sometimes, I see these couples that have been married for a lifetime and seem to be just as “in love” as the day they met, and I wonder if that’ll be me someday.

But my choices aren’t as vast as they were back then.

The other day I was watching “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?” and the $50,000 question was “According to a study done by”…I forgot…”how many Americans were in jail, on parole, or on probation in 2003?”

The woman phoned her friend, he said it’s about every one in seven people that are in such a situation so, that comes out to be about, get this, 6.9 million.

Of those, I am sure more than half were in my generation.

That makes it slim pickings for me finding someone on the straight and narrow and the up and up.

Don’t get me wrong, everyone makes mistakes, but some mistakes follow you for the rest of your life. And, whether or not it’s right, they don’t just follow, but impact your chance for success.

One day I want to travel the world, have a decent-sized home, with a big yard and maybe have a family. But I know from watching my surroundings, that it’s incredibly hard to do on your own. Not that I couldn’t do it, but it would be nice to have some help.

I want a family like the Huxtables from “The Cosby Show” with a few minor changes. I want to be the next Oprah and I want my husband to be a big time doctor/lawyer/publicist/entertainer/CEO, whatever. Not the biggest couch potato complaining about the imaginary “man” keeping him down.

I know, keep dreaming. But hey, a girl can fantasize.

I am not in search of money, I am just looking for someone who is willing to work as hard as I am to get what we want. I want to be able to support the munchkins – I mean children – if they happen to come along. I want to do more than make ends meet. I want them to be able to wrap around themselves in a pretzel knot.

Valentine’s Day. Bah hum bug. Just a reminder of how hard it is to find “the one.”

It’s amazing what one day can do to an ordinarily happy person.