Just in case you didn’t notice, my column was M.I.A. this past weekend.

That’s because I went home to see my loving, caring, family who reminded me of things that I couldn’t have possibly known on my own. Can you sense the sarcasm?

I don’t know if you have ever had those moments when you realized something may be a little off, but you say to yourself “It’s ‘not that bad.” Then you walk out and everyone kindly tells you that it is just that bad.

Maybe you get a new haircut and you think to yourself that you simply have to get used to it, but in the meanwhile everyone you come across lets you know it was a change for the worse.

“Do you like it?” they ask. “Well if you like it, that’s all that matters.”

Or you get, “Is that the way you wanted it?”

Anyway, before you begin to wonder what this has to do with anything in my life, back to my visit home.

I already knew that my weight had changed a little since I’ve been here in Demopolis and it hasn’t been for the better.

The lack of time to actually cook a meal and the brief moments to grab fast food before sitting down at my computer has definitely made a change in my appearance.

But, in case I hadn’t noticed, my family did a great job reminding me.

I already knew my clothes were fitting in a snugger manner, but this past weekend my family was kind enough to remind me ever hour or so just so I wouldn’t forget.

Saturday the family went on a one-day cruise to celebrate my mom’s birthday. We were getting all dolled up and I was in my cute little pink, yellow, white and tan flowery dress ready to go when I ran into my father in the living room.

“Your stomach’s about to be poking out as far as mine in a minute,” he laughed.

I simply snarled in his direction.

But it wasn’t just in my dress, I put on my jeans and my mother reminded me how well endowed I am in the hip area as she sung Sir-Mix-A-Lot’s 90s tune “Baby Got Back.”

Although I prefer to think of myself as curvy, I guess my curves are getting past the bodacious dangerous level and heading into plain old bumpy.

Therefore, I have begun my exercise regimen once again for about the fourth time since getting my DVD workouts this past winter.

This time, I won’t give up. At least I have no plans to.

I am trying to eat healthier and get back into the shape I was when I was a dancer at my high school.

I know the answer. Relacore.

You’ve seen those commercials. “Stress produces cortisol. Cortisol leads to weight gain in the waist and stomach area. Relacore reduces cortisol.”

Come to think of it, I have been a little stressed lately. I am gaining a lot of weight in the tummy area. I have high levels of cortisol and I need Relacore!

Never mind, I’ll just stick to prayer. Don’t want any foreign substances in this body. Thanks anyway.

Now that I am back in Demopolis, I’ve figured out why my family felt a need to remind me of my weight gain.

I think it was just in case I decided to do a little shopping, I wouldn’t think I wore the same size that I did the last time I went into a dressing room.

I understand it was for my better good so I wouldn’t have bought clothes that didn’t fit. Thanks you guys, I get it now.