Peeving over silly things

Published 12:04 am Saturday, April 25, 2009

Have you ever been asked what your pet peeves are? I have. It isn’t a question that I can readily answer. As a general rule, I don’t sit around and dwell on the little things that bother me more than anything else in the world. I’m just not that guy.

But, I recently grew tired of being asked that question and having no answer. So I began formulating my own list of tiny, unimportant things that bother me to no end. So, here it is in glorious black and whit.e

— Soggy socks. Yep. That’s right. There are not too many feelings in the world more frustrating and irritating than walking around and feeling water squish out of your sock and into your shoe. This is of course followed by the obligatory realization that the removal of that shoe at day’s end will produce an horrendous odor comparable uundesirable scents such as litter boxes and stale fruit.

— People who insist on driving 10 miles under the speed limit and subsequently accelerating in the passing zones. Seriously? Is this a coincidence or do such drivers truly feel the need to display their general obnoxiousness to complete strangers?

— People who put bumper stickers and other swag of my favorite football team on their cars and proceed to cut off (and hack off) just about everybody on the road. Really, if you are a monumentally bad driver, why not put the sticker of your rival team on your car and proceed to win fans to the other side? I’ve contemplated shifting allegiances myself based solely upon the driving habits of my fellow fans. I don’t think The University of the South has that many fans. Therefore there would be less people to make me wish I rooted for someone else.

— Having to listen to standardized recordings when placing a call to a cell phone. Think about it. In this age of technology, who doesn’t know how to leave a message after the beep without being given explicit instructions to do so? These messages have frequently thrown me off my thought processes enough that I have forgotten who I was actually trying to reach in the first place.

— People who ask what my pet peeves are. Honestly, are you trying to formulate a list of things to do to annoy me? Or are you so concerned that you might be unintentionally annoying enough to happen upon them the hard way that you have to ask for a road map on how to steer clear of such nuisances? Either way, it doesn’t bode well for my ability to commit to you as a friend.

— People who double park at crowded venues like the Sports-Plex in order to preserve the “pristine” nature of their vehicle’s outer shell. This is obscenely obnoxious and often a strong indicator of personal character. Can we as grown adults not have a little more consideration for other people who might also like to park their vehicles?

Jeremy D. Smith is sports editor for TheTimes.