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Reflecting on 10,000 midnights

I am 10,012 days old. Thanks to an application on my friend’s iPhone, I was made aware of this fact recently.

While the knowledge doesn’t change the fact that I am 27 years old and, by all accounts, still a young man, the notion that I have seen more than 10,000 midnights is somewhat disconcerting.

It isn’t that I am concerned with the number of days which I have lived, it is more that I am concerned with how little I’ve done with the number of days which I have lived.

We live in a society that allows us to easily become consumed in the day-to-day grind. We go to work. We go home. Some of us interact with our families. Others of us lie on the couch in front of the television until it’s time to go back to work.

There are other activities along the way. But with very little effort, it is easy to lose sight of the fact that the days are just rolling by.

For me, it is more than just a little troubling that I have spent more than 10,000 24-hour periods breathing air in and out and can scarcely quantify the value of that time.

I am bad about not finding time, losing track of time, letting time slip away and in general becoming time’s own personal chew toy.

So when some triggering occurence flips the perspective switch in my mind, it is an uneasy feeling to come face to face with the lack of accomplishment.

In short, I am pretty good at spinning my wheels. I have had parts of a graduate school application done since I finished my bachelor’s degree more than two years ago.

I made the decision to go skydiving last year. Since making that decision, I have made zero effort to actually follow through with said decision.

I decided to get back in shape, but neglected to define the shape or how I was going to enter into it.

I determined that I would write a few of the stories I’ve had rattling around in my mind for years, but have yet to devote one keystroke to the process. And the most peculiar thing about all of it is that it would take but one day to begin or accomplish any of these resolutions. Yet, somehow, in 10,000 of them, all these things remain undone.

The good news for me is that I have come to this realization at 10,012 days. With a little luck, a lot of work and the right amount of faith, I may be blessed enough to have 10,012 more. That sounds like plenty of time to knock a few of those items of the list, especially if I figure out how to value every midnight, every dawn, every sunset and every opportunity.