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Getting to the bottom

At its last meeting, the Demopolis City Council heard District 2 representative Mitchell Congress say he had heard a number of complaints about young men who wore their pants down so low their underwear was clearly visible.

He asked to be able to work on a draft for a city ordinance against the practice, which the council unanimously approved.

He said some pants were worn down around the knees, and that the men walked around with their pants’ waistline at the knees.

I’ve seen what he’s talking about (no, I’m not going to start doing it myself, and you’re welcome).

To me, it looks ridiculous. From the age we start pre-school, we make fun of seeing people’s underwear, and that’s just the waistband.

How many songs in first grade relate to seeing someone’s underwear? I can remember “Teacher, teacher, I declare” and “I see London, I see France” just off the top of my head.

One thing the council may think about is how to enforce such an ordinance. How far down would a person’s pants be allowed to go? Where is the defining line so to speak? Halfway down someone’s backside? One-quarter? Three-quarters?

Two inches below the waistband? Five centimeters?

And what would the penalty be?

Wearing suspenders for a week? Sewing an elastic waistband into the offender’s pants?

Frankly, it looks stupid, and could probably be covered under existing indecent exposure laws. If it would help for us to list repeat offenders for “failure to pull their pants up,” we’d be glad to oblige.

There’s got to be other ways of being cool than pulling your pants down below your backside, other less offensive and less illegal ways. Everyone has to find his own way of fitting in; just keep your backside covered.