• 52°

It’s simpler just to be oblivious

I don’t like following the news. I believe I have been clear about this in previous columns. My political leanings are simple, “I do sports.”

But over the last couple of days, I’ve had a couple of things catch my attention.

I realize that I am months behind, but apparently we are “bombing” the moon. This is NASA’s way of determining if there may be ice — and thus, water — below the surface of the moon. It is all part of the process of figuring out if we can set up a colony on the moon.

Call me crazy, but that sounds remotely dangerous to me. I read the details and know the intent and the process. But it strikes me as the kind of event that would launch a significant string of catastrophic occurrences in a disaster movie starring Morgan Freeman as the president of the United States. Somewhere Elijah Wood would be riding his bicycle frantically through the standstill traffic of evacuees.

Jeff Goldblum and Dennis Quaid would be the scientists attempting to find a way to offset the arrogant, foolish mistakes of their colleagues.

The moon would be knocked off its orbit just enough to throw off tides and gravitational pull, causing chaos on Earth. The debris would fall into the atmosphere in chunks. And maybe we would have to send up Bruce Willis and a motley crew of oil riggers to drill into an asteroid the size of Texas to plant a series of nuclear charges in hopes of breaking up the projectile enough that no major damage would be caused upon impact.

The moral of the whole story would be, “Don’t mess with the natural order of things.” Or it could be “Don’t mess with Texas or Texas-sized asteroids.” Whichever. I’m not really sure.

And speaking of famously eloquent presidents, word is that Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The news apparently drew a collective “do huh?” from the general population and Obama himself.

The decision is a head scratcher at best. Obama has not yet had ample time to accomplish the goals which Oslo says earned him the Nobel Peace Prize. It seems a little premature. Then again, I don’t know the other candidates for the award.

Offering no credence to his political leanings whatsoever, I can say that Obama seems like the kind of guy you would want to kick it with. That is, as long as nothing ever got serious or deep. When it does get serious, you know for sure that he can talk a good game. Can he back it up? Who knows? Time will tell.

But Oslo thinks he merits a Nobel Peace Prize. Fair enough. Hawaiian singer-songwriter Jack Johnson makes a lot of music about peace and has many of the same ideals as Obama. He is also a well-regarded environmental activist. Where is his Nobel Peace Prize?

Anyway, this is why I don’t like paying attention to the news. Whenever I do, we are bombing the moon and the Nobel Peace Prize is given to a guy who, by his own admission, doesn’t merit it.