Don’t make friends. If you ever want to achieve your hopes and dreams, have memorable experiences and live the spontaneous, enjoyable life that you have always wanted, don’t make friends.

Friends are the people who take those things away from you. They are the people who make you feel some sort of emotional connection that is deep enough that you would feel cheated if you skipped their big moments to experience your own.

You want to sit at home and watch the NFL Draft and do little to nothing else all day – except maybe take in a baseball game from the comfort of your living room. Nope. Not happening. Your friend wants you to be a groomsman in his wedding.

So you vow that you are done with weddings. You will be in no more. And you proceed to put together one incredible Labor Day weekend that begins with a Saturday morning flight to the state of Washington, includes a trip to a game between the Seattle Mariners and Cleveland Indians on fleece blanket giveaway night and ends with a concert featuring Ben Harper and the Dave Matthews Band at the near legendary Gorge Amphitheater. Your friend? He wants you to be in his wedding, too. Don’t make friends. You’ll have to be in their weddings and play with their children. Friends. Overrated.

You just got back from a weeklong vacation out-of-state. You are tired. You want to rest with your wife and eight-month-old child, recover from the trip that was. Your friend? He calls on two days notice and asks if you can spare your guest room because his girlfriend is visiting from out of state. Don’t make friends. Don’t make friends and don’t have guest rooms.

Don’t make friends because after they get married, they get ready to move into their houses. And moving means furniture and boxes and furniture and boxes means extra hands and backs. So they call you.

You wanted to watch the Final Four and be left in peace. But, somehow, you are shifting around a sectional that your friend’s new wife shouldn’t have bought because it was too big for the living room in the first place. Don’t make friends.

However, if you do make friends, cherish them. Sharing in their big moments is what makes missing out on some of your moments worth it.

Jeremy D. Smith is the sports editor of The Demopolis Times.